105 Days and Counting

So... I strongly feel that Satan is trying to do everything in His power to prevent my wedding from happening. Things just keep happening that make me want to post-pone it a few months.

First... Wednesday November 25th... I was picking up my brother to take him to get diapers for his kid and to my place for Thanksgiving. While I was waiting for him to grab something from his place, I noticed that my car was smoking. I couldn't see it when I had my sunglasses off, but I could see the smoke when they were on. It wasn't big as if the radiator had cracked or anything, so I opened the hood to look. I saw there was something leaking on the engine block itself. Looking closer I see that it looks a little green and it is coming from a hose. Me being a girl and having no mechanical knowledge, besides flat tires, was freaking out. Luckily, I wasn't too far from my future in-laws place, so I took it over there and had G.T. look at it, with Charles on the phone. He said it looked like there was oil in the coolant system. This would mean the head casket would need to be replaced that can cost upwards of 1500 dollars. So, I park my car, swear a bunch, cry a little, cause I don't have the money to replace anything, whether it be the head casket or the car itself. I borrow Cassie's car for the weekend, and get home feeling like the world is crashing in on me.

Second, Thursday... Kyle calls mom to see how Pat's meeting went to get approval to come to the states. Kyle gets me on the phone with mom and she proceeds to tell me that Pat has to go to a psychiatrist next week, the next step in the process, but he still may not get permission for another 4-6 months. She then says, so we probably won't be able to make it for the wedding. I asked, "Are you still going to come if Pat can't?" Her response, "I don't know. We will see." Talk about a slap in the face. I see her once a year, maybe. I understand that I have been married before, she was there for that one, and I understand that she doesn't want to leave her husband, as she has been away from him a lot this year, but... come on. She can fly in on Friday night and leave Sunday morning. She would be away from him less than 48 hours. I am not asking her to help me with the wedding. I am buying my dress instead of having her make it, like she did the last one. I am having my bridesmaids buy their dresses instead of mom making them. I am not asking her to do anything but be there.

They say that bad things come in three's, so I am now waiting for something else really horrible to happen. I just need to remember that God is putting me through these trials for a reason. That he is allowing this to strengthen me. He will not put me through any trial that I am not able to bear. I need to have faith that he is just making sure that Charles and I can withstand stressful situations and come through it. He loves me and is with me every step of the way. I need to have faith that He will provide a way for my mother to come to my wedding and for my car to be fixed at a decent cost.

As for everything else... I am still having trouble sticking to my diet and exercise. The diet portion isn't too bad, but the exercise part is what I am having trouble with. I just feel like I have no time to do it. I know that I need to because I only have a few outfits that fit me right now, and I don't have the money to purchase new clothes. At this point we aren't going to have much money for Christmas.

Not a whole lot of update for the wedding yet. Still just starting to think about when to purchase what. G.T. is suppose to be working on scanning in pictures and figuring out the slide show. I am still working on the song list. Everything seems to be going fairly well though. 105 days left and I will officially be Mrs. Charles Hastings.