Dilemma :(

I know it has been a long time since I have written anything on here.... but I have a big dilemma.

I really want to go to my family reunion up in Canada from July 6th through the 10th. It will cost about $2000 to get up there and back. Two of my sisters and one of my brothers is willing to help with some of the cost to get up there.

I also want to start trying for a baby the end of June beginning of July. This wouldn't be bad, but we want to get on one of those supplemental plans that pays you money when you have your baby. That would be about $200 a month.

We aren't going to be able to do both. We can either try, key word try, to come up with the money to visit my family or we can start the supplemental plan and try for a baby.

Getting pregnant in July would put a baby around April. We could go up to Canada and then plan to try to get pregnant in September. That would put a baby in about June. I am not sure which I want more. To see my family, and spend non-stop time with my kids (at least at home I can take a break every once in a while), or to try for a baby sooner rather than later.

Again there is no guarantee that we will have the money to go to Canada in time, plus we would have to get passports still. Ugh... decisions, decisions, decisions.

5 days left!!!

I had the best surprise today. My sister got here and asked me to go help her get her luggage out of the trunk. I open the trunk and low and behold, my mom is in there. She has been telling me since Thanksgiving that she wasn't going to be able to come. My sister didn't tell me either. I am so excited that she is here. I can't even explain it. My brother doesn't know yet... he will find out shortly... he will be really happy too I think.

I can't express how happy I am right now.

8 More Days

Only 8 more days until the wedding. School is almost finished for the next two weeks so I can focus on wedding and honeymoon.

Bridal pictures were posted on Carrie's website yesterday... they are pretty. Some of them I think make me look really fat... but I am still beautiful.

I have been working on Crystal's dress... I should have that done tonight.

Wow, Only 10 days left.

Amazing how quickly the wedding is coming up. I have uploaded the song list to the IPod. And I have finished another mid term. Working on the next few weeks assignments so i don't have to do school while my sister is here. I am so excited that she is coming. I wish that my mom and step-dad would be able to come, but I understand when there is no money available. I've been there... still there most of the time.

I am not sure how to get the slide show onto a DVD... going to see if Charles can work on that tonight while I am at Bible study. I finished Cassie's dress yesterday, but need to hem it up as it is too long. That should only take about an hour to do. Kristi's dress has the zipper in, side zippers are a pain, and want her to come try it on again before I hem it up. She is going to come over tomorrow for that. Almost done the programs. Need to just figure out the reception timeline since I want speeches or toasts and I have a special gift for Charles for the reception. We are also going to do the first dance and what not as well. So... once I figure all that out... I can print up the programs and put those together with some ribbon.

Then there is the food. Which can be done all next week. Thursday I can go get all the fruit and vegetables then we can cut them up and put them in zip lock bags to store to take to the church. I am going to try to make a batch of eclairs today... and all day tomorrow. Problem is... with kids... it is harder to get things done. I think I might get Cheri to watch them tomorrow and maybe Friday... so I can focus on what I need to do. I tried to get Dave to keep them but he wasn't feeling well enough to do so. Such is life.

Charles and I are going to get the marriage license today after he gets off work. G.T. is picking up the tuxes on Thursday next week and returning them the following Monday. I am going to try to make the ring pillows today as well. I am slowly starting to feel the pressure of everything that needs to be done.

So... I am off to do schoolwork.... until next time.

Only 12 days left

Time is really starting to fly by. Only twelve more days until I am officially Mrs. Charles J. Hastings. I can't believe it. Everyone thinks that I should be more stressed then I am, but practically everything is completed. I need to finish the bridesmaid dresses... won't take long. I need to make up some ring pillows... won't take long. We need to get the marriage license... going Wednesday after Charles gets off work. Need to finish the programs up... will be done this week. The song list needs to be downloaded to the IPod... will be done today. The slideshow needs to be burned to a DVD... will be done today. Dress needs to be dry cleaned after Bridal pictures last Friday... will be ready to pick up this Friday.

The only things that I really need to worry about are: School... have two weeks to work on this week... not too bad. Food... Can't work on most of that until next week. I feel that I am really on top of everything that I need to be. I am just getting really excited.

Anyway... off to work on dresses before George and Buster get here.
Until next time.

18 Days left

Time is closing in really quickly. Wow!

I tried on my dress again last night, Two more inches and it will fit perfectly. I am going to work extra hard this week. If I hadn't been slacking the last few weeks it would probably already fit. I need to put the sash on it this week because Friday I am going to get Bridals done. I am excited. Hopefully the weather will be good and I can do them outside.

I need to finish the zippers on the bridesmaid dresses and hem them, and I need to finish up my outfit for the after party. I also need to finish tying up the ribbon on the favors too. This weekend I am going to get the food and start working on that. Once I get a better idea of how many people are going to be there I can figure out seating and how many table clothes I need. Things for wedding are going well.

I do need to complete a lot of school this week and next so I don't have any to do for the week of the wedding and the week after. I am going to crack down a lot this weekend when Dave has the boys.

In addition to watching my nephew George, I am also now watching his new puppy Buster. This puppy is a golden lab and pointer mix. Cute dog. Very hyperactive though. He likes to follow me around everywhere. It is pretty cute. It also depresses me a little because I miss my Maya. Such is life though. We ended up getting some birds instead of a new dog, but it turns out I am allergic to them. That sucked.

Oh well, until next time.

24 Days

Wow it is getting close. Just a few more things that I need to do. I need to finish the favors by putting bows of ribbon on them. I need to cut out the thank you poems and roll those up. I need to purchase a garter belt. I need to finish the bridesmaid dresses and attach my sash onto my dress. I need to find ties for Charles and the boys or make them. I should organize all of the wedding things as well. I need to get ribbon for the center pieces and tule to put on the tables. Then comes the food which will be started the beginning of the month, and stored in the freezer for a while.

Until next time!

31 Days!!!

Wow... getting closer. I am sooo excited. So... update!
I ordered almost everything else needed last Friday. I received some of the items yesterday. (That was quick.) I purchased the center piece items on Friday as well. On Sunday, Cassie, Cheri and I put together the favors, just need to tie a ribbon on them now. Grandma Neu helped too. Saturday we went to the tuxedo place, (Boy, does Charles look good in a suit, whooo.) They don't have the green color I need so I am going to make the vest for the second groomsmen. The tuxedo guy is going to loan me a vest so I can make one very similar. Nice guy. I got the table runners finished yesterday, just need to wash them and iron them. Bryce is coming over tomorrow to make eclairs, as a trial run, just to see if I am going to be able to make them myself. I bought the suits for my boys and the shirts, need to make up the ties, and still get them shoes. We haven't bought them dress shoes yet as we didn't feel the need. The bridal shower invites are out, I have been told. I am starting to get response cards back, so I am starting the RSVP list of who is going to be in attendence. Now is just a matter of finishing last minute things, and getting ahead in schoolwork, so I don't have to work on school during the honeymoon. Charles is looking into going on a cruise (Yooo Hooo) so I want to be able to just relax and enjoy myself.

Until next time.

37 Days left!!!!

Wow, time is flying by. Only 37 days left until the wedding. Invitations will be mailed today or tomorrow. The remainder of things should be purchased by the 10th of February. I am now working on the table runners. Will be pretty simple to complete. Saturday we are going to the tuxedo rental company to see if they have vests in our colors. Exciting, exciting.

On the down side, I feel very overwhelmed and don't want to do much. I hate sleeping alone in a bed, but we are trying to do as our officiant asks. It's tough, but I am sure that he is right that it will be worth it in the end.

Until next time.

Some days I'd rather be at work

I love my kids, but some days I just want to strangle them. Whenever they come back from their Dad's they are rambunctious, cranky, whiny, argumentative little buggers. I hate it. It really frustrates me to no end. I don't know why they do it, but every time. After having them back for two days, I feel like I need to hide. I hate that feeling. It makes me want to cry and throw my hands up and quit. Maybe I shouldn't have any more kids if the two I already have make me feel this way.

On a happier note, the wedding invites are all sealed, and stamped. Now I can just drop them off in the mail!!!!! The vests for the boys are done, my going away dress is almost done, just need to hem it, the sash for my dress is done and I have the fabric to do all the table runners for the reception. Taxes have been filed, and once that money comes back, I can submit the orders for the rest of my stuff.

Until next time!

43 Days Left

Charles and I went to our second Pre-Marriage counseling today. It was pretty interesting. Sean first had us take a type of personality test and will give us the results and a write up in two weeks. We went over the role of the wife and the role of the husband in Marriage according to the Bible. Then he also challenged us to something. He challenged us to not live together until after the wedding. Now we have a few concerns with that because of the boys. We aren't sure what that would do to them emotionally. He said that at least, he would encourage us to not be physical with each other. As in sex, sleeping in the same bed, etc. He said that we would be starting our marriage off firm, and that God will bless us abundantly if we are able to do this. So, we are going to try to not have sex or sleep in the same bed until the wedding night. Tomorrow we are going to set up the queen bed we have downstairs, and that is where I will be sleeping for the most part. We might switch off and on because the boys are upstairs and it wouldn't be fair to Charles to have to get up with them every morning. But.. we are going to see how it goes.

Until next time.

45 days left!

A month and a half. Things are flying by fast. Getting ready to mail all the invitations in about a week. Charles' dad is going to buy all the stamps for us as a way to help out with the wedding. I sent him an email today letting him know the numbers for US stamps and Canadian stamps. I am going to start working on the boys' vests today. I am excited. I just have a few more finals to finish up and work on today first.

I also emailed my mom today letting her know exactly how I am feeling about her not being able to make it to the wedding, but planning on coming down a month later. It was kind of harsh, for me, and I hope that she doesn't feel too bad. I hate being mean to people, but I had to let her know how hurt I am.

I have been feeling really depressed and overwhelmed lately and I am not sure why I am depressed. I know why I would feel overwhelmed. I have three more finals and one more assignment to do by Sunday. Most need to be done by Friday. Then, I keep thinking of all the other things that I want to put together for the wedding. I need to remember, that I have plenty of time, and that I can ask for help if I need it. My problem is, that everything that needs to be done, I would have to write out a list for someone else to do it, like the song list, and it would take just as long for me to do it myself. Can you tell that I am a very independent person when it comes to things like this?

Anyway, off to work on school! Until the whole world hears!

Taxes

Whoo Hoo sometimes I like to be a single mom mainly because of all the tax breaks you get. Lots of money... will be here within two weeks, then I can get the rest of the wedding stuff. Sooooo excited!!!!

47 Days

Only 47 days until the wedding. Things are going pretty good.
I went up to the church to see what all they had in way of table cloths and what not. They have enough black and green table cloths that I can use for the tables. Then I can just do purple and blue table runners and it will look really pretty. They also have an arch that I can decorate up to look really nice. Now I just need to wait for my w2's so I can file my taxes. Then I can get everything else we need for the wedding.
I also need to finish up the song list and the picture show thing. But... things are going really well with the wedding. I am excited. It is getting so close.

53 Days

Time is flying fast. I am still working on getting skinny for my dress. I know that I can do it. I am not eating anything that I shouldn't and I am cutting down on my carbs. I have lost about 5 lbs in the last 2 weeks and about 1.5 inches in the waist. About 3 in the chest. Hopefully I will be able to get where I need to be by the end of February. My mother doesn't seem to have much confidence in me which is disappointing, but I know I can do it.

Not too long now!

I am looking at hair styles now, so I can maybe start trying them to see which one suits the best. Any opinions on the matter would be appreciated. Here are some pictures that I like.

60 Days - Two months.

Time just seems to be flying by. I think that I am good on schedules. At least for some things. I have gotten the majority of envelopes addressed, except for the few I don't have addresses for still. I have gotten the invitations printed out, (they are sooo cute), I have received the pictures that are going into the invitations, I have the response cards printed out, and the thank you poems printed out. I have most of my pictures scanned into the computer for the slide show. I still need to get the pictures of Charles, but I am sure Cassie can get those to me this weekend. Maybe I can go help her dig them out. I also need to finish putting the song list together and getting all the songs into a folder for easy access. Most of everything else is just waiting to order it. Or mailing invitations in a few weeks.

It is getting so close that all I want to do it focus on the wedding. I need to realize though that I still have school work to do. I am getting a little behind in it. I am going to try to get caught up today with school and housework.

Yooo Hoooo!

I got my wedding dress yesterday!! I am so excited. It is so pretty. It looks so much better in real life than it did on the internet. That is not always the case, so I am very glad that it worked out. Now I just need to make sure that I lose a little more weight to fit into it by the wedding. If not sooner to get Bridals done. It feels so much more real now that I have that and things are coming into play.

Yesterday we also finished up the guest list with Charles' parents. Still need a few more addresses, but got most of them. His dad also said that they would like to help with the financial end of things as well as anything else that we needed help with. We weren't going to ask them for help because neither set of my parents were going to help. So, it was a nice surprise when they offered. The number they said they could help with is about a quarter of the wedding costs. Thank you Chuck and Cheri!

Tonight I am starting on addressing invitations. Cassie is going to come over to help. We may do something else though, not sure. I feel like sewing too. So, we'll see how it goes.

Anyway, I am doing okay on my workouts. I don't feel like I am losing any weight, but I also haven't been measuring like I should. I may be burning fat and gaining muscle. I can see that I am starting to lose it in my face though. Which is really good. The more I lose the better I will feel. It is hard to do my workout on the weekends though because I don't like it when Charles watches me. It makes me feel self-conscious. He has been doing workouts his whole life, and so he knows how to do certain exercises. He also doesn't get light winded as easily as I do. He can tell that I am doing them though.

Anyway, need to get the house cleaned up for company this evening. Maybe try to get a little more school work done. Until next time.

65 Days

So, part of the condition of me not working is that I need to donate plasma twice a week. No big deal right? That is what I thought. I scheduled a new donor appointment for Monday the 4th. I showed up, but forgot to take my social security card. So I rescheduled for today. I show up for my appointment at 10:30, they asked me when I ate last, I said 8:15, they asked what, I said cereal, they said that I didn't eat close enough to the appointment and that I would have to come back. So, I go and return at 1:30. Then they tell me that I am still not able to donate. I brought my social security card that had my ex-married name and it didn't match my driver's license. So, now I have to bring in my social security card with Montgomery on it as well as a copy of my divorce papers saying that I can go back to my maiden name. It is so frustrating. So now I need to set up another appointment.

66 Days

Wow the time is flying by. So much going on and it seems like there is so little time.

I have gotten the invitations figured out, GT is just going to redraw the picture for the front. They are looking really good. The next couple of weeks I am going to start addressing them all and getting them put together so I can start mailing them out the beginning of February. At least the ones going up to Canada.

I finally was able to order my dress on the 1st. The website said that it was six week delivery. However, I got an email conformation yesterday that it was in the mail and should arrive by Saturday the 9th. I am so excited. I ordered it two sizes small to give me some motivation in continuing my workouts.

I ordered my shoes on the same day and they are already on the way as well. Yesterday I got an email conformation for the shoes as well.

Things with the wedding seem to be going really well. I still feel like I have a lot of things that need to happen and be done before I can stop stressing about it, but I know that it will all work out. Right now I am working on scanning in pictures for the slide show with my new printer. I figured it out a little bit yesterday and I am going to try to work on it more tomorrow.

I have loved being home with my kids. They are so much joy to be around, at least most of the time. I love being able to keep my house clean, and keep Charles happy with breakfast and homemade lunch for work.

Well, I am off to get the kitchen cleaned up and dinner started. Until next time!